Anyways, guess what? This is the week! Friday is the day I've been waiting for for 9 months! Yes, I'm huge, but whatever. I've only gained 20 pounds (I haven't gained any in the past month, but she sure has been getting bigger), which isn't that bad in my opinion. I can't wait to bend over again without thinking if I really want to, or feeling like I'm about to do the splits. I can't wait to sleep on my back, or stomach (after I recover from the c-section). I can't wait to chase Jonas around the house again and hold him close to me without my stomach getting in the way. I can't wait to carry him around without feeling like I'm going to die from the weight. I can't wait to exercise again! I can't wait to be me. I just can't wait for so many things. And of course, I can't wait to hold my little girl!
If I didn't have c-sections I would probably be really depressed at this point because I don't do anything. I never dilate or efface or anything. I never did with Jonas, and that was at 39 weeks with him too when they realized he was breech and scheduled the c-section 2 days after that appointment. And I've done nothing with this one, even though I'm having contractions. I never did with Jonas. Either way, I'm just grateful that I have something that is planned to look forward too - that there is an end in sight. The fact that there is an end is the only thing that has kept me from not completely losing it this pregnancy.
Ya, I'm kind of nervous about having the c-section (it is considered a major surgery), but I think everything will be just fine. I feel like I'm freaking myself out more about this c-section than with Jonas because I've had time to watch one and research about it and people tell me about theirs. With Jonas, it was just all of a sudden so I didn't think much of it, and I think that's why it went so well. I wasn't really stressed at all. I was just happy to have the baby out of me. But this one, everyone is telling me how sorry they are for me and how rough that is (really? I like c-sections) and I actually watched one on baby center, because I never did with Jonas. And that grossed me out and freaked me out a little because I know what they'll be cutting. It makes me hurt thinking about it. So ya, I'm trying not to be nervous, even though I know what to expect, and I know that I'll be satisfied with the result. Maybe I'm freaking out because I've had so many more issues with this pregnancy, so what if the c-section goes wrong too? I don't know. Either way, everything will be fine. And I think I'll stop at two kids - just because I never want to be pregnant again. Ha ha! Clint always tells me we'll talk about that when time has passed. :)
You're so beautiful!
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