A Grain of Salt

When I took Alexis in to her 6 month appointment, something happened that I have been thinking about ever since. I feel like I finally developed an opinion about it and I want to share, because I like to do that. I guess I like to share my thoughts on mothering - not that I'm an expert or anything. My kids throw me through loops all the time!

First off, this was around the time that I began sleep training her and I asked my pediatricians advice about the situation, since I had never sleep trained before. He told me he and his wife did it with his daughter and, because she cried so much when she woke up during the night, they ended up sticking a bottle of water in the crib and she eventually found it and it put her back to sleep. And it worked. I then told him that Alexis didn't take a bottle.



And he kind of acted like that was a bad thing. He told me that he always suggests that babies learn how to take bottles so that way if the baby ever ends up having to take a bottle, they can.

Just for the record, I love my pediatrician and I've always loved his advice. I feel like he and I think similarly about a lot of parenting things, etc. But I left that appointment feeling like I made a poor parenting choice because I never pushed Alexis to take a bottle. I think she drank out of a bottle 4 or 5 times, and then she never did again. But she cried so much at the beginning of her life, I didn't want her to cry more because I was trying to get her to take a bottle.

For a week or two after that appointment, I felt bad that she didn't take a bottle and wondered if I should teach her. But as I thought about it, and lots of other things regarding my little girl and all her "twists" she gave me as a mother, I realized that this was just another one of those "experts advice" that you can take with a grain of salt.

I honestly don't care that she doesn't take a bottle. I don't care if she is attached to me. I don't care if I'm not able to leave her for too long because she doesn't take a bottle, etc.I love being with her. I never got this complete experience with Jonas because I was working. So this is fun to be with her all the time! Nursing her all the time. I didn't get that with Jonas.

So here is my ultimate opinion. As mothers, I really believe that deep down (whether you believe it or not), we have these instincts that connect us to our baby - no one elses, just ours. I got kind of annoyed when other people tried to hold Alexis (when she was colicky several months ago) thinking they could make her be quiet. Come on people, if I can't get her to be quiet, why would some stranger? One lady tried holding her and singing a song and said that that always worked with her children. Ya, because they were your children. She's mine and completely different that your child. She's fine now and it doesn't bother me when people hold her now, even if she does get whiney when others hold her. Atleast she'll stop crying. BUT, we mothers know exactly what our babies need, what our babies handle, etc. And because we have that connection, all that "expert advice", which most of it is great, can be taken with a grain of salt.




If you want to sleep with your baby, despite what those experts say, do it. If you want to hold your baby and rock them to sleep, do it. Taking a bottle or not, comforting them when you try to leave, etc. Do whatever your baby needs. Because if I've learned anything from Alexis, every baby is completely different.

They say to put your baby to sleep drowsy, but not all the way asleep at night. If I laid down Alexis at night (when she had her colicky issues) "drowsy", it just meant she was going to keep crying. But if I got her to sleep first and then laid her down, her chances of staying asleep were much greater. And experts say that when they wake up in the middle of the night, or if they aren't falling asleep when you lay them down at night, don't pick them up, just comfort them for a bit and then leave. But honestly, there are times when Alexis won't go to sleep at night or for her nap, and if I just go in there and pick her up and hold her for a bit, she calms down, relaxes, then I can lay her down again and she'll fall asleep without a peep. It's like she needs a little mommy loving before she can sleep.

With Jonas, being a first time mom, I loved reading all I could about parenting, and I still do being a 2nd time mom, but now I know to take all that advice and do what works for my baby, my child. Plus, most of that advice I didn't have to worry about with Jonas because he just naturally did it. He naturally went to sleep and put himself on a napping schedule, never slept in the swing, etc. But Alexis - she's a different story. She's got spunk!

So there you go, do what you think is best for your kid and don't care what others think or are doing with their child.  Of course, it helps to read up on stuff, too, but take it with a grain of salt. Try things, and alter them according to your child's needs.

And, of course, a couple more pictures because I can't do a post without a picture.....or two. Hee Hee.